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why i hired you?  

2015-02-12 11:54:13|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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You never even knew about the heartache, I've been going through 
Well I try and try to forget you...But it's just so hard to do,
Every time you do that thing you do
~ "That Thing You Do", Adam Schlesinger 1996

Dear You: 

Before you came along we had this really important job that needed to be done and no one to do it. At first I handled it in my spare time. “I can do this”, I said. I didn’t need anyone. But I was lying to myself. Dirty, filthy lies of which I’m so ashamed. 

In reality I just didn’t want to spend the money on another salary, putting us six more months away from break even. And because of that my life was out of control. I was searching for quick fixes in all the wrong places and was so unhappy. I needed you, I was just too proud to admit it.

But eventually your job started to take up so much time that other key things got neglected and our business suffered. The last straw came when I lost someone who mattered more than anything else.

“It’s not you, it’s me”, they said as I begged them to stay. But I knew the truth: I hadn’t been there the way they needed us. I had so many things to do that I ignored them for too long. So they started sneaking around, engaging with others. Then, once they’d found someone that would give them more of what they craved, they just left. There one day and gone the next. They never tell you before it’s too late, those customers.

It was then I realized I had to have you.

So even though I knew it would cost a lot to pay your mortgage, your car payment, your kids’ school fees and your chipotle addiction, I launched a search to find you. I’m no sugar daddy but I picked a salary as high as I could justify hoping it would attract you. I pored over your job description and posted it on LinkedIn. I turned down headhunters because I wanted to use that money to attract you instead. I even offered to pay your full salary a few weeks a year when you’re not even working: On national holidays, during your trip to Cuba, or when you unexpectedly must take the day to visit your sick third grandmother, I pay anyway. That’s how much I wanted you.

You can’t imagine how many people I had to meet until you came along. The anticipation was never worth the disappointment but I kept trying, always hoping you would come into my life. I’m ashamed to admit that for awhile I considered going off with Jim or Clement, then I flirted with the idea of Sandra, and even Valérie. But I never wanted them the way I wanted you. I was just desperate: at the time I was doing my job and yours, plus I was looking for you. It was exhausting.

When you walked in, you practically had me at hello. You had this amazing leather satchel for your ipad and your shirt was buttoned just right. I looked at your shoes and said, “Now this has some promise.” The lights were a little low and you sat down and clasped your hands professionally on the desk. You started asking questions about what I needed - about my needs! - and about how things work around here. It was on.

I kept asking how you would handle this problem or that thing and every answer showed me you were just going to come in and do it. After all the hurtful lies from those who said they were right for me (but then their references never checked out), and after all the wasted evenings I'd spent, drink in hand, listening to people say they could do it but then couldn’t, I was so happy to find you. You were so full of promise it was like a sunrise.

Right then and there I started fantasizing about how great it would be with you: weekends traveling (while you worked), nights spent curled up with Netflix (just working days would finally be enough), vendors calling you instead of me. And the automated processes you would set up and run – oh the processes! – allowing me to focus on other strategic tasks to grow the company. You would be there, ready and anxious to offload so many of the things that had been bogging us down. I couldn’t wait to pay you.

As soon as our first encounter was over I called my BCF (best colleague forever). “I just found the one”, I said, breathless. I had a problem and you were the one (solution). Someone who could take on those critical tasks that I don’t have the time, courage and/or expertise to address. The solution is you.

I secretly hope our relationship will grow into something stronger, enabling me to give you more responsibility and help you grow in your career. In my dreams you'll even get raises. Oh the raises! Because I would rather pay you more as you progress than to pay you and another person. Especially if I trust you.

So there you have it. Why I picked you and no one else. It’s not that I didn’t have other options. Oh believe me I had options, baby. You don’t think a ton of hot candidates wanted to get with this (salary)?? I don’t care about your age, that Valérie went to a better school or that Clement worked at McKinsey. You give me the most hope to fill that terrible void.

With you it just feels right. With you I have someone to solve my problem; take us to new heights; reach dreams. One day you'll probably wish I would open myself up more, that I would talk to you (about a raise), and I’m sorry I won’t do that more but I’m just so vulnerable, so terrified of having to spend even more on salaries and employees’ dental insurance than I do today. But I hope you know how I feel about you.

Honestly, if it stays like this then one of these days – as soon as I can swing it – you’ll make even more money and probably even get more stock options. Maybe even with accelerated vesting. As long as you keep making yourself indispensable in new and critical ways I’ll always be there for you, and so will your paycheck. I’ll be your CWB: colleague with benefits (even dental!). I hope it’s as good for you as it is for me? I never want to go back to the way it was before. You complete me.

Forever yours I hope
Your Boss




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